The most unhinged mushroom merch that nobody ever asked for 🍄

Since I had to see it, so do you!

An illustration of a mushroom lady dancing with a marijuana leaf captioned “🍄❤️ micro dosing ❤️🍄” by the artist Felicity Marshall (@felicity.marshall)

As many of you know, I took it upon myself to embark on a mini investigation about mushrooms for a story last year. But this case study has expanded into something so much bigger than trend forecasting. Since then, I haven’t been able to escape mushrooms—I see 🍄 when I’m not even looking for them. Friends that I correspond with irregularly will randomly DM me links to products that they find with a sweet message along the lines of “saw this and thought of you.” Like it or not, I have become what I like to call The Mushroom Man.

Since I’ve involuntarily subjected myself to this, it only seems fair that I expose y’all to some of the most chaotic and creative products that have crossed my path on this journey. I’m mostly doing this roundup for fun, but if you actually see something that you like please don’t be embarrassed about it. We all have our little quirks and kinks!

Current Mood, “Fantasia Garden” Platform Sandal ($55-78)
Almost hard to believe that these heels sold out, but I want to meet whoever bought them—SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. I’m begging you, please read the original product description.

Fleur Du Mal, Angel Sleeve Robe in Ivory Mushroom Print ($375)

The sex appeal of shrooms is an area that I have yet to explore so maybe that’s a demo worth tapping into? Don’t knock it ‘til you try it I suppose. But wait, there’s more! We’ve got a whole Botanical Mushroom print collection going on here. Suddenly, the idea of gifting this to a lover is sounding romantic? I need to log off.

Dolce & Gabbana, Mushroom Print Shirt in twill ($777)

Because now that this D&G shirt is on sale for 40% off it is truly a steal! 🤡 Would I buy it? Absolutely not. Would I wear it? Abso-fucking-lutely.

New Girl Order, Oversized Sweatshirt with Mushroom Graphic ($51)

This is exactly what I would expect to see when you search “mushroom” on ASOS... Shiitake happens, deal with it! (Yes, I am referring to the typo on the top.)

Alister Mackie, Pussy-bow Mushroom-Print Silk-Satin Shirt ($246)

100% the vibe when you wear any sort of pussy-bow shirt. Exactly how I felt when I saw that the original retail price for this was $820!

Semaine, Mother Mycelium T-Shirt (£42)

A fun fact about this shirt is that it’s a special collaboration with Paul Stamets who is probably the most famous mycologist on Earth. He’s sort of the GOAT of mushrooms so this is kind of a very big deal. Somebody should definitely gift it to me… Wink wink.

Kika Vargas, Victoria Faux-Wrap Dress with Overlay ($790)

For the record, this color is called “Black Mushroom.” If you can’t get enough of the ~trippy~ pattern, consider matching with your little one :’)

Apollo Box, Pop-up Mushroom Play Tent ($335.82)

This seems like the safest place for anyone to hide from all of their problems.

Borys Korban, Mushroom Drops Earrings (€165)

The only thing that has me tripping here is the price, but if you can afford to splurge on this ice then by all means go off!

Free People, Vintage 1970s Mushroom Necklace or Brooch ($88)

The real crime here is not finding out everything we possibly can about the original artist and seeing how far their designs got… Please bring back brooches in 2021.

Les Flors, The SETA Bag (???)

Susan Alexandra should have already been doing this! You snooze, you lose—shrooms wait for no one.

MUNISA, Amanita Shroom ($195)

Not surprised that this ceramic pipe is sold out because it is actually very cool.

dELiA*s by Dolls Kill, Mushroom Guide Graphic Tee ($35)
I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t tempted to cop this… Extremely on-brand.