Mind if I talk some 💩?
I swear, it's not what you think...
WARNING: Post might be TMI for ~sensitive~ readers that can’t own up to their 💩
A meme of a sticker that reads “I’m Bloated” instead of “I Voted”
I hope the headline wasn’t too clickbaity, but I’m ready to talk shit (💩) and if I lose followers or subscribers for this then so be it. Anyone who really knows me on a personal level is aware that I have IBS. Since going public about my experience with getting diagnosed in 2017, I’ve made many attempts to insert it into casual conversations when appropriate. For better or worse, I’m very open to discussing all things💩-related because of my enthusiasm for gut health. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’m *proud* of being that person, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t see why we shouldn’t be holding space for dialogues around it. Spoiler: Everybody poops, this is not a new concept!
One of my favorite stories of all time about this topic is “Women Poop. Sometimes At Work. Get Over It.” published in The New York Times in 2019. I remember being so excited after I read the article that people accidentally thought that I was the writer because of how enthusiastic I was while sharing it. The lengths that women will go just to take a 💩 while on the job is truly astounding. When I used to work in an office I had no shame about pooping—I would ideally try to do it when no one else was in the communal bathroom on the floor, but when your body cues for the purge, you need to respect the system.
I want to tell you a story. There was this one time where a foul odor continued to stink up the women’s bathroom (not my doing) on the floor that I worked on. After several weeks of complaining about it on a private channel on Slack for all the womxn in my office, I volunteered to donate a candle to mask the stench. Along with the candle, I left a polite note inviting anyone to light it when necessary. Would you believe that the next day someone had the audacity to write back saying that it was a fire hazard?
My office was furious about the anonymous hater, but the whole point in even bringing that up is to show how someone clearly felt a type of way about the suggestion that they get their 💩 together in the literal sense. They really couldn’t handle being called in and resorted to going off about it on a POST-IT NOTE… Sky Ferreira just called, everything is embarrassing!
💩 is also a feeling often experienced from the backend of someone else’s behavior. This month, I’ve found myself feeling liberated by my choice to stop giving a 💩 about anyone who makes me feel like 💩 on any level. I’m cutting off the energy vampires that leave me depleted, revoking the access of toxic cowards that taint my mood, and putting the social climbers that try to tokenize me for clout on notice. Engaging with any of these folks will only clog your aura and I have a wall of photos from Magic Jewelry to prove it! We can all benefit from healing, but it’s not your responsibility to do the work on or for shitty people. When you see my top shelf full of juices in the fridge know that it’s deep cleaning season on all fronts.
Full transparency, I’m guilty of making my bowels work around having guests in my home or being the guest in others’ space, but whom among us hasn’t? I once had a friend who would ask permission to take a dump at my apartment before going into the bathroom to do the deed and I honestly admired her ease about it. I want to see the same level of enthusiasm that we have for sexual empowerment for 💩. This calls for a… *drum roll* bowel movement. I’m grateful for the IBS community that exists specifically on TikTok (shoutouts to my friend Jenna for always sending me clips), and I look forward to possibly joining someday.
All puns aside, if your friends aren’t checking in on you (and your bowels) then what are they doing??? Gut checks or bust.
:)